Deep conversations.....in my head....and it's starting to hurt...& that opposites DO attract

Exploding head

I hate to say it...but I'm a deep kinda person. I thrive on intellectual, deep, and meaningful conversations. I have so much on my mind, constantly; from the past, the present, and future. I'd love to shut the tv off, grab a bottle of wine and bare my soul to the one I share my life with. I've tried, but each time proved to be rather unsuccessful. It always reverts back to something comical or it deviates completely off course. And I give up.

I want to share my pain, what brings me happiness, and to just....talk. I want to share why I am the way that I am, why I feel the way I do, and spill my thoughts out as if to cleanse my soul.

Is it possible that he's uncomfortable with conversations of that nature? That I don't care about the latest Cosmo quiz, and would rather share a part of what makes me, me? I love classic literature but I don't expect to converse about the Divine Comedy, Candide, Poe......I just want to talk more about us, not what's going on in the lives of our friends.

I'm not trying to muddle over how I can solve world hunger, or that I have the answer to global warming.  

To really get to know me, you have to dig way deep inside, find that vulnerable spot in my heart and uncover the cobwebs that hold it together.

I guess that's part of why I can't sleep....I seem to have these conversations constantly running through my head, as if I'm sharing my thoughts with someone....but alas, it's just me. (Note: I don't hear voices in my head, mind you.)

Or perhaps, I want to know everyting about the person I share my entire life with. Their sorrow, their burdens, and their happiness.

Opposites attract

I guess I do have to believe in that old cliche....opposites attract. I can't think of any other explantion for the existence of Ryan and me. I simply can't live without him. And I've tried. He's frat boy, yuppy,and preppy. I'm dark, pretty inked up, non-girly (on the inside, mostly) have a morbid sense of humor, and a touch evil.

I'm sure we get looks. He's in his argyle sweater, designer jeans, and preppy shoes. Me...I'm in my skull boots, black t-shirt, skull necklace and ring, with exposed tat's.  

Part of me thinks that we don't really need to say much....we know each other pretty well. Kind of an unspoken understanding.

But still......I feel like my head is about to explode from all the thoughts clogging up my head. Arrgh.

It's 1:52am.....gonna try and shut my brain down and pretend to sleep. G'nite.