dolor diligo vexillum

Show us a tattoo.

Here's one:

Baltic Room 4

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What is the worst date you've ever been on?

Jeez....hard to say after so many years of dating.

But the first worst date was when I was 19. My friend set me up with this guy...that she never met. She only knew him through a friend of hers. I should have known better, but I was game.

When I met him I was.....shocked, and not in the good way. He looked like hell, or maybe that just how people dress in nowhereland WI. He was wearing jeans that looked like they've been crumpled at the bottom of his hamper....for weeks, if not months. And he was wearing this cheap, black windbreaker that closely resembles a Hefty garbage bag that had holes cut out for his arms and over-sized head....which I might add, never wear more product in your hair than a girl would.

And I'm thinking....I spent 2 hour on my hair and drove an hour to meet him half way...for this??!! Uggh.

So, we meet up and he takes me to a basketball game. Grrrreat choice. *rolling eyes* The entire time I was just thinking of how the hell to get out of this date. After the game we're driving around, aimlessly. As we pass a forested area I casually ask, you think there are any dead bodies buried in there? It would be the perfect place for a body dump.

Needless to say...I think he got the point. :)

Show us the inside of your freezer.

Can't right now...there's currently a body in the way. >:-)

Here are some pix from last Sat. before.....well, yeah....

So, I may not be blonde, bubbly, or whatever the hell is not me. But I'm sure I'm someone's type. Humpf.

Baltic Room 1

Baltic Room 3

Baltic Room 2

Baltic Room 4

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Baltic Room 5

I'm hurt, pissed, confused, and very quiet. It's not good when I'm quiet It's a better sign when I'm yelling.

What he did wasn't nearly as bad as the things that I have done. But I thougt we were done hurting each other.

What compliment are you most often given?

That I'm a fantastic cook. I got some mad skills in the kitchen. :)

I am beginning to think that Baron thinks he's part human..... :)

Baron- 9 months 002

Baron- 9 months 006

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Show us your favorite t-shirt.

T-shirt Hell

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Eh....just got done watching a porno...disappointing.

Sometimes I wonder why or what makes me so "abnormal" and/or "different" ... maybe it's just the people I associate with...who knows.

I understand that "normal" is quite relative, as if saying that something or someone is beautiful. Not everyone can agree. BUT I can't stop being overly introspective. I know what makes me tick...but I want to know why it does. Does it really come down to the nature vs. nurture theory? If I would have been accepted and loved unconditionally by both parents, would it change who I am today? Or what if I had different parents....would I be compltely different than I am now?

I feel like there is a constant, internal struggle inside of me. A double personality, so to speak....an alter ego. I was brought up to be a classic beauty, like a Katherine Hepburn. Elegant in its simplicity. But deep down, I have this untamed wild side. Bondage, pain, rebellion, tattoos, and all things dark and morbid. Yet....there's that other part of me who love the "glamorous life." Fancy dresses and shoes, expensive purses and a love of the finer things that life has to offer.

But, I would give up everything for one thing.....unconditional love. As in one of my favorite poems by Edgar Allen Poe, Annabel Lee. A love so deep that even the angels above were jealous....so jealous they sent out a wind chilling, and killing his beloved Annabel Lee. But even death couldn't part his love for her as he lay down by her tomb each night.

Perhaps it is just all a tale....is there a love that runs so deep that not even death can survive love?

I've been tested and told that the perfect man does exist...but only in my mind. A mere creation in my head, generated by my heart. Perfect.

Maybe it's been me the entire time. Maybe I'm just too fucked up to realize. Let's see...could have been married, several times over, yet I chose not to. I'm 30 and never married...by choice. Is that weird?? Nearly all of my high school classmates are already married with multiple children and some are already working on their 3rd marriage.

Okay.....I've narrowed down the pro's and con's:

Pro's: reasonably attractive, quite intelligent, well read, articulate, loves to travel, am an excellent cook and can bake...just about anything...oh and I clean house too
Con's: HATES football, loves ink, spends a bit on shoes, clothes, purses, loves german shepherds to the point of obsession....I'm sure there's more.   

 So what's the point of all this??????? Just some of the maddness in my head.

Show us a treasure.

My boys Cito and Baron.......'specially Cito....I wish he were human. :)

Cito....my Honeybear....

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The Kids..... 014

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